Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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