Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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