My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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