I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
