How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
