Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
