alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
BRING THE BAGELS
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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