he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
pray to the hookup gods
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
