Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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