I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
