your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
