when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize