She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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