there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
