I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
