we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
