oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
