I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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