Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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