i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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