My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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