I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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