He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
