he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Sacagawea was the original milf.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
