Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
