i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
home. puking in laundry basket.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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