Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
