In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
