So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
