Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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