is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
