my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
