Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
That was an excessively violent trivia night
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
