he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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