i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
