Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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