Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
