he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
