My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
