Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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