I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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