I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
