You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
