I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
