She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
