i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
