I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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