I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Also, beer. Big fan.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
