Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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