I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
