So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i think i just lost a toe
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
