And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
