I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
