Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
